A friend of mine emailed me this:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."
Posted at: 11:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Category: Humor
Tonight I present to you a rambling political parody that isn't really any good - George Bush and the Search for the Holy Sand! This is a parody of the Knights of Ni in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If you don't know this movie and read this you'll think I'm crazy.
* * *
Heard in the background - Terrorism! Terror! Terrorist!
Saddam: Who are you?
Bush: We are the Americans who say..... Terrorist!
Background Americans: Terrorist!
Saddam: No! Not the Americans who say Terrorist!
Bush: The same.....!
Saddam's body double: Who are they?
Bush: We are the keepers of the secret words - Terrorist, Misunderestimate and "make no mistake".
Saddam: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Bush: The Americans who say Terrorist! demand..... a sacrifice!
Saddam: Americans of Terrorism, we are but simple Iraqis who seek the oil beneath this sand.
Bush and his cohorts: Terrorist, Terrorist!
Iraqi Regime: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Bush: We will say Terrorist to you again.... if you do not appease us!
Saddam: Well, what is it that you want?
Bush: We want!..................... your weapons of mass destruction!!!!
TENSE MUSIC!
Saddam: Our wot?
Bush and Blair: Terrorist! Terrorist!
Saddam: Please, please, no more. We will destroy our weapons of mass destruction!
Bush: No! You must return here with your mass destructors, or you will never pass into hiding with Osama...... ALLLLLIIIIIIIVE!
Saddam: Oh Americans of Terrorism! You are just and fair and we will return with our weapons.
Bush: Some that look nice.
Saddam: Of course.
Bush: And not too expensive!
Saddam: Yes, we bought them from you!
Bush: NOOOOOOOOWWWWWW GO!
* * *
Saddam talks with the Iraqi with big glasses and decides to slowly destory the weapons, just to make the Americans mad.
* * *
Saddam: Oh Americans of Terrorism, we have brought you some weapons! May we go now?
Bush: They are good weapons, I like the Anthrax particularily. But make no mistake, there is one small problem.
Saddam: What is that?
Bush: We are no-longer..... the Americans who say Terorism! (Terror! Shhh). We are now the Americans who say screw-you-france-and-the-UN-we-will-bomb-iraq-to-hell-anyway
Protesting Americans: Terrorism! No War! Osama!
Bush: Therefore we must misunderestimate you and give you a test!
Saddam: What is this test oh Americans who... till recently said Terrorism?
Bush: Firstly, you must find...... more weapons!!!!!
TENSE MUSIC
Saddam: Not more weapons!!
Bush: Then, when you have found the weapons, you must place them here beside these weapons only a little more dangerous so our people understand why were here (why are we here? why are we here?). Then when you have found the weapons we must cut down your regime, have a regime change, and make..... aaaaa.... DEMOCRACY!!!!
Posted at: 12:00 AM | Comments (3) | Category: Humor
This is one of the most (if not the most) brilliant Onion article of all time.
Although it is refering to September 11th and is shrouded in humor, I think the message is timeless and true. Everyone in the world should understand this.
Posted at: 04:50 PM | Comments (1) | Category: Humor , Life , Politics
The Onion presents, Point-Counterpoint:
Point: This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism
Counterpoint: No It Won't
Posted at: 03:53 PM | Comments (0) | Category: Humor
Crazy Apple Rumors: "Apple Really Trying Hard To Give A Damn About Opera."
Heh.
Posted at: 07:59 PM | Comments (0) | Category: Humor
Clippy: "It looks like you're suing Microsoft".
Courtesy of Mark Pilgrim.
Posted at: 08:43 AM | Comments (1) | Category: Humor
Just when I thought people couldn't get any more stupid I read this
Somebody tell this woman to deal with her own problems.
Maybe I shouldn't put this in the humor category, it is really more sad than funny.
Posted at: 05:49 PM | Comments (0) | Category: Humor
Posted at: 09:00 PM | Comments (1) | Category: Humor
This is priceless. They are English captions on a bootleg DVD of The Two Towers in Asia somewhere.
I feel sorry for people who watch that bootleg.
Posted at: 03:45 PM | Comments (0) | Category: Humor
Here's a great find! To be sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It".
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone has dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's good enough for me
'Cos it's all the proof I need
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.
If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
Posted at: 08:53 PM | Comments (13) | Category: Humor , Politics
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