Ridiculous Rhetoric: I Must Be A Satanist

Jesus speaks through the Republicans:

I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.

It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.

The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

I have two words for this man: secular society. The United States is not a theocracy and it should never become one.

This kind of thing scares the hell out of me. Go ahead and be religious and born again. In fact, I think religion can be a positive force in the world and in many people's lives. However, just remember that saying stuff like this is just completely obnoxious. I really have no idea what to say to this. Except for the fact that we live in an awful world if God's will is to inspire people to be such jerks. I think I may start up a Liberals for Satan political party.

P.S. How exactly do prayers influence the election? Sure, maybe God exists. I can accept that belief. But how exactly can God take these prayers that the born-again Christians send to him and influence the election process?

P.P.S. I hear God loves guns. He has a huge gun cabinet up in Heaven and every once and a while he picks out his favorite gun and plays target practice with those sinful liberals down on earth. And you know the flood and Noah's Ark? God really flooded the earth because he's a sadistic bastard. Noah was only saved because he contributed great sums of money to God's gun lobby group.

P.P.P.S. I know I've gone completely out of control on the P.S.s here and have veered into spouting off Ridiculous Rhetoric myself. However, there is no real sane way to respond to statements such as he ones given. I probably shouldn't have even attempted to respond and instead just laughed. Unfortunately I feel somewhere between laughing and crying.